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Ideations

by Chemical Cautery

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1.
⏪ Rew. 00:36
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2.
Knives Are Pretty 02:05
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The inner river Flows with pain Self inflicted Suffering Cut it open Watch it run The rain turns red With a lighter head The blade is cold But the blood is warm We've reached a sense There is a norm I am failing To be something I am nothing I am nothing Knives are pretty I want them in me Want them in me To feel alive Ignite the feelings Ignite feelings Awaken The life inside Knives are pretty I want them in me Want them in me Feed the pain Drives me insane Drives me insane Trapped in this world Left with these blades Knives are pretty I want them in me Want them in me I’m so numb Under my skin Under my skin Open it up See what’s within Rain is pretty It makes me wet Makes me wet When I stand in it Sends shivers across my skin Then I want the blade again Knives are pretty Put them in me
3.
Callous Consciousness 01:49
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I am – Not alive I am – Just existing I don’t have a presence I Just make appearances This Callous Consciousness It soon depletes me This Callous Consciousness It erases my soul I am Burning inside Burning inside Turning inside out I am Seeping distress Leaking misery Drowning your conscience I am Fucking messed up Fucking messed up Fucked in the head I am Dragging you down Dragging you down Down into my hell When life gives you lemons It's probably trying to fuck you No one gives you shit unless they want to fuck
4.
The Enemy 02:33
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I am dead I’m not alive I’m a waste and I don’t fit in So what am I? DEAD – To the world, I am DEAD – To society, I’m DEAD – In this skin, where a soul tries to fake me DEAD – In this lie, I am DEAD – undeniably, I’m DEAD – God cannot exist while I’m broken feeling this way I’m the enemy Within me
5.
Active Aggressive 03:25
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I’ll tie you to the bed Cover up your head Attend to every inch of you carefully And take my time with the murdering We’ll use safe words So I know that you’re hating this And before your life slips away, We’ll skip straight to the cremation Who needs to make a woman cum? When they’re full of so much blood? Why do we need cum when we’re full of blood? …I can cut a hole and fuck wherever I want Who needs a cunt I’ll turn this murder into suicide You’ll hate it so much you’ll end your own life Why hide the aggressive Leave a clearer message Know how much that I hate you Know how much that I hate you
6.
Alien 04:54
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I'm an alien, don't you know A human, not quite so I don't belong in the ways of your society Your lives I cannot process Your views I cannot digest I simply cannot be the way that you want me to be ... There’s nowhere I can go That I can feel like I’m a somebody My walls built out of hate From not being able to relate To a single soul that passes by me I don't fit in - with the stream of your mindless kind Can’t live this way - grown into the innocence of my mind We are not the same - my head does not work like yours You are not like me – and I think I’ve found the cause In a world full of closed minds No personality can grow In the wrong place and time I'm an alien don't you know In a land of misery This life passes so slow Our skin my look alike But I’m an alien don’t you know This broken society Has nothing left to show I have seen enough to say I’m an alien don’t you know
7.
Dead Harmony 04:13
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This is the solemn ending scene This is the end of everything The pain and the torture that we bring The terror tales that we sing Kill this ferocity Save my curiosity There’s no generosity With this animosity I will be the death of me My soul will never be free This thought train killing spree I am the only enemy Fuck this void in me Fuck your harmony Fuck the pain it brings Fuck this everything The voices are our enemy Their choices are the decree They tell you what you’re going to be Show you what you’re meant to see Feathers have been plucked from the wings The angels operated by strings Fucked by their gods and their Kings Or abide to the wrath that they bring My sanity is now depleting I’ve lost the point of normality My brain is driving me insane You don’t want to see this side of me I’ve lost which of voices are mine I’ve lost all sense of space and time Happiness feels like a crime This breakdown is in its prime
8.
Shitzophrenia 02:51
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I don’t know How I’m not dead I’m so fucked In the head I have seen Blood is red I have so much hate within It’s turning in to self loathing The suffering that I have caused Is self inflicted, I am so fucked I only contemplate the end When is it my turn I want me dead Please someone silence all the voices Kill me fucking kill me faster I don’t want to wake up any more To all the shit that I am now This life is the definition of Depression and disaster
9.
uᶰt.ɪ Ʈ-˩□ˉD 07:41
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10.
Corinthians 6:9 02:05
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Stop touching yourself or God's not going to love you Don't you want to be saved Boys who kiss boys aren't welcome in this home
11.
Dispensable 03:19
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I’m not going anywhere with you still breathing If I’m going to go I’m taking you with me If I’m going to heaven, then you're going to hell But neither exist so limbo it is for you Your rotten soul, it makes me ill Your heart is one that I could kill Memories live on as scars My sanity sends its regards There’s only one place that’s good for you In pieces of which no number’s too few I’ll share with you my agony And the hate you left within me It’s my one good deed Removing one soul that we don’t need And I will make it two If I also take you
12.
Caffeine 02:36
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I’m not mental Don’t judge me I’m just doped up On caffeine I can’t keep still I’ve not smoked green I’m just off my tits On Caffeine This withdrawal Makes me obscene Until I’m filled with More caffeine I can’t work out These timings I guess I just need More caffeine I’ve lost my head Please fix me And drown me In caffeine Feed me caffeine
13.
You Don't Do Depression Like I Do 03:32
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You don’t understand this pain You don’t understand my life Conclusions are your weapon for Making yourself feel better Your worthless life is just like mine Except I have opened my eyes Penny for a broken heart Fuck all for a broken mind You think your down, your life is the worst But you don’t do depression like I do I don’t want to live this life It’s taking me for a ride To hell and back but on return Another voice adds to the burn The loneliness it bites so deep The nerves are crushed the numbness seeps Cut the strings to make a noose This hell on earth still makes me lose Help me to be myself Help me believe in myself Help me release myself Help me to free myself Help me to bleed myself Help me to kill myself This is not a cry for help I just want to fucking kill myself

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released February 13, 2016

All song Written, Performed, Produced and Mixed by Chemical Cautery

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Chemical Cautery Telford, UK

Chemical Cautery is the creation of a sole human being with an overwhelming creative need, of which can only be satisfied by creating music. This said person is the writer, performer, producer and mixer for everything conjured, typically in the heat of the moment (with the exception of the odd cover.) ... more

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